Another visit from Family

After the 5 days on our own we had the gang show up. They spent some time holding little Kayden and making dinners and going to the pool with all the kiddos. It went better than I had anticipated. Although I did escape upstairs a few times to feed Kayden so I didn't have to worry about covering up or accidentally flashing people. That and trying to keep Beckham away from Kayden. haha We ate ice cream and watched movies and tried a play a few games. I mostly sat on the couch and would watch something while everyone else played some games. I did join in one time but that didn't last very long. Of course that one night that I joined in Tyrel brought up someone in their family history who lost like 2 babies and then Brandon's mom brought up how a lady in their ward had lost their 6 week old. I then went upstairs to feed kayden and just cried! Having a 3 week old and talking about these people who have lost babies was not a good topic to be talking about around me. I just cried and told Kayden that he couldn't do that to me. Especially since his reflux had been bad and I was already on edge every time he gasped for air. Other than that their visit was good! haha My burning pain had been getting progressively worse before everyone had arrived and it just kept getting worse. So I was struggling with wanting to nurse still. So after Ty and Vandy left I was starting to second guess my desire to nurse. It was hard to want to nurse when I was in so much pain. So once I started to think I was going to quite nursing I had another break down of a whole day of crying feeling like he wasn't going to need me anymore and that I was failing him and everything. It was terrible. It was nice to have Lee and Grandma Huntsman there to help me feel better and talk me through it. But they saw a very emotional side of me that I don't think they have ever seen. Needless to say I don't like seeing that side of me. haha 

Anyways, here are some pics from that weekend. 

Kayden loved to sleep like this on me. Sometimes he put his hands right under his chin like he was posing for a picture. 

Grandma Huntsman also brought birthday presents for Emmett and Ethan. So we let the boys open them while she was here so she could watch them open them. Emmett's reaction was by far the best! He was so excited about his race car shirt. It was so cute!! 

Ethan got a super cool shirt too!! 

And of course they both got some candy from her. :-) 

Fun times with family! I was a little excited to have some time on our own after that again though. That next week we had Kayden's 1 month check up and he weighed in at 8lbs .... ounces. So he was actually gaining good weight and I was nursing him. It seemed like a miracle. I also talked to the doc about his reflux and he had me start him on some zantac. Thankfully that seemed to help him and I left feeling like I could manage nursing a little bit longer. Even if I was in pain. I thought I would try to get some help for the pain and see if I could take something to get rid of it. I didn't make it much longer. The pain got super intense. In fact on Emmett's birthday it was so bad that I could barely think straight. I had to take percoset to help out. It was really bad. So I had officially decided to stop nursing and had Brandon pick up some cabbage leaves for me so I could stop cold turkey. I was a little bummed but I was hurting so bad it just wasn't worth it anymore. I ended up making an appointment with my Doctors office and when I went in I saw the Mid Wife. Which I was bummed about. She told me that maybe it was just how my body reacted to nursing but it didn't seem like I had thrush or a yeast infection in my milk. So she told me tips on how to get my milk to dry up. I left thinking that was fine because Kayden was taking a bottle just fine. However, when I went in for my post pardem check up she asked me if she gave me antibiotics for a breast infection which I said no. So then I was a little upset knowing that she was thinking of putting me on meds and then didn't. I could have still been nursing if that is what I needed to stop being in pain. But no she didn't and I wasn't nursing anymore. That was the most frustrating part because nursing was actually going well except for being in excruciating pain. Oh well, there was nothing I could do at that point. It was done with and Kayden was drinking his bottles well and happy and growing. So all is well in the world!