Home with our sweet little Kayden

We arrived home Friday night with our sweet little Kayden. He looked so tiny in his swing and really anywhere we were. Seriously so in love with this sweet little boy of ours. Ethan, Wyatt and Emmett couldn't get enough of him either. Ethan kept saying, "he is just so cute! I want him to stay little!" haha Anyways, we were officially home and like always we feel like we are ready to be home with a new little one. That first night home didn't go terribly. The biggest struggle was that Kayden still didn't seem very hungry and was not nursing very well. I was pretty sore EVERYWHERE!! If I laid in bed on my back my ribs would kill me and my back. So I would try laying on my side which would feel good at first but after a little bit I could barely breath because of how bad my ribs hurt. This was a new thing I had not experienced with the other 3 boys. Normally I feel so much better instantly after having a baby. But not this time. This time my whole body felt like it was out of place and I just hurt all over. I ended up having to sleep in the recliner for about 2 weeks in order for my back and ribs not to kill me. So that first night back home Kayden was not nursing well and I was a little worried because he wasn't peeing very much. Then Saturday morning we had to call our pediatrician and try to get in to do a weight check as well as check to make sure his jaundice wasn't getting any worse. I called our pediatrician and the lady on the phone was being so rude. Which I was over emotional anyways because I had just had a baby. She told me that they only take sick patients on Saturdays. Which I already knew that. But I told her that the doctor at the hospital told me that I should try and get in to get his weight checked and his jaundice checked. She then proceeded to tell me she would check with the docs but that they normally don't do that. I was peeved!! I knew they only took sick patients on Saturdays' but this was a brand new baby and I was told to call and get in. So after the little bit of attitude and just being a worried and over emotional new mommy I was super upset. She got back on the phone and told me that they would see him. So I scheduled the appointment but when I got off the phone I cried as I told them what the lady said. I was so mad and so upset. So Brandon mentioned just switching over to the Youth Clinic for Kayden's pediatrician and that we could just cancel the other appointment. I didn't want to call back and talk to her so Brandon called and told her that we were going to have to cancel. The nurse that I had talked to then apologized for what she had done and if it was her fault that we were canceling. She said she normally doesn't do scheduling. Which Brandon said after getting off the phone that they shouldn't have someone answering phones that doesn't know how to deal with a mom who just had a baby! So we decided to get ready and just go take Kayden into the hospital where they had the pediatrician section. I was all sorts of crying and emotional. I was also thinking of not nursing anymore. I was worried about Kayden not gaining weight because he was just chewing on me (So I was cracking and starting to bleed) and I just wanted him healthy. Plus he kept choking on more amniotic fluid that night and it kept making me nervous. Thankfully we met with Doctor Hanson who had seen Kayden while we were in the hospital. He is a very down to earth doc and we really like him. While we were waiting to be seen though I was just an emotional mess. I just kept crying and when the nurse came in she asked if she could get us anything. I said no and that I was just an emotional wreck. She then asked if I was nursing and I told her yes and she said that it was totally normal. I had just had a baby and was nursing so my hormones were going to be all over the place. So while we waited to be seen by the doctor I just cried off and on the whole time. Then we got Kayden weighed and then waited for the doc to come in and talk to us. Kayden now weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces. So I was worried that he wasn't gaining weight and was still loosing weight and I was worried they would want to keep him to make sure he didn't loose anymore. Thankfully that didn't happen. Since his weight was not correctly taken when he was born the doctor said that with where he was at now he had probably lost about 10% of his weight since birth so he was estimating that Kayden probably weighed about 7lbs 8 ounces at birth. So he said that his coloring looked great and that his weight was nothing to worry about and that he would see him at his 2 week check up. He then talked about nursing and how often to try and asked if I was nursing and I mentioned that I wasn't sure if I was going to keep trying. He mentioned not to give up but after I said I had 3 other boys at home and never really had success he was all, "oh. nevermind then. You know if it is going to work or not. So do what feels best." He then proceeded to tell us that 3 of their kids had nursed great but the 4th didn't want anything to do with it. He told us that whether I nursed or not didn't determine if I was a good mother or not. It is just food. No matter how he gets it that doesn't matter. There is more to being a good mother than what they are eating. That made me feel better. We also asked him how much longer he should be gagging on amniotic fluid because he was doing it a lot. He told us that he should be done with that in another day or 2. We couldn't wait for that. So as we left I cried a little bit more but Brandon mentioned that if we were going to bottle feed then we might as well start now before my milk came in. So we fed him a bottle all the rest of that day and I was a basket case. I was so emotional. I felt like if I didn't nurse him he didn't need me anymore. I felt like I just wanted to love him and hold him and not let him go. When we got home and told my mom how it went and then started to feed Kayden bottles I cried to my Mom. She told me to just enjoy him and love him and have skin time. So she brought up some food to my room and I cuddled with Kayden and just cried while he laid on me. It helped me feel a little better when I was holding him skin to skin. I just didn't want to let go on him. That was a very long day of crying. I would feel ok for a second and then the tears would come again. It was a terrible day. The only good part was all the cuddling I did with my sweet little baby. At first when Kayden started to drink the bottle he just chewed on it. But then as he sucked a little bit he realized that there was something actually going in his mouth. He then would start to drink a little bit. He would only drink a half ounce or maybe an ounce. It was not much at all. So Brandon would feed him a tiny bit of bottle and I would try to express a little bit of what I had onto a spoon and then give it to him as well. Sunday morning so when Kayden was 3 days old my milk came in. I woke up and felt full. So I thought of trying to nurse to see if he would latch on and actually drink some. And a miracle happened! Kayden started to nurse. I couldn't believe it! I had thought I wasn't going to nurse and then after a day of bottle feeding him my milk came in and all of a sudden he wasn't chewing on me anymore. He was actually nursing, and nursing well I might add. It was crazy how much better I felt about him nursing. I was so happy that he was nursing and that it was working. I came down stairs after trying to nurse him the first time and my Mom asked how it went and I said that he actually nursed and she said, "well good! Maybe he will do well now." So I kept trying that day. I figured why not since my milk came in even though I had not nursed for a whole day. That day went great! He nursed well and was going every 3 hours. I would nurse him for 10 minutes on each side and then 3 hours later do it again. He was pooping little tiny squirts ALL THE TIME and peeing a ton. Things finally started to feel better. I was much happier and still enjoyed cuddling up on my sweet little baby boy. I was super hungry and super thirsty while nursing and my Mom was so helpful and would bring me food and water so I could eat and drink. So that I would have what I needed to be able to nurse. She also played with my boys which was great! Ethan and Wyatt were still in school so Emmett got to play with GG. After having Kayden and just staying home with him Ethan had an assembly where he was awarded the kindness award. Brandon and GG went to that and were able to record it for me. Then Papa got to our house the Wednesday after having Kayden. He didn't want to come out earlier and have what happened with Emmett happen with Kayden. So he came out when Kayden was almost a week old. He was then able to go to Wyatt's preschool Graduation celebration thing with Brandon and GG. I was able to watch it from the house on the Bethke Website. Then before we knew it school was out for Summer. We didn't play any games with my parents while they were here since I was dealing with a new baby and nursing and all that jazz. Plus I was sore and didn't really want to sit on the chairs at the table. I was way more sore this time around. I had to be very careful when even sitting down on the couch. So we watched a lot of movies and just enjoyed each others company. Which was still good. By the end of my parents stay they had gone to the pool with my boys and watched movies and we also had a fire outside and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. The last morning before my parents had to leave Papa taught the boys how to make a bird trap and then they set it out and tried to catch a bird. We all had but lost hope when all of a sudden Ethan squealed, "I caught one!! I got a bird!" We all didn't quite believe him at first. We thought that maybe the bird had gotten close but then flew away right as the box fell. Low and behold as we got outside we could hear the bird moving around in the box. Ethan was ecstatic!! The rest of us were in disbelief! The trap had worked!!! haha It was pretty cool! So we all had a good time with Papa and GG at our house for those 2 weeks!! It was sad to see them go! At least we had a cute little baby to spoil and love up on! 

He looks so tiny in his swing!! What a cute squishy face!! 

We are always surprised at how strong our babies necks are when they are so little. Kayden was like a day old and when I would hold him on my chest he would lift his head up and try to look at me and look around. Seriously so cute!!!

Hello Daddy!!

So precious!! There are a lot of pictures of him sleeping. But that is what new babies do. Plus he is just so stinking cute!! I couldn't help but take as many pictures as possible! 

Saturday when I had my breakdowns all day long because of hormones. GG took the boys to Costco to get a few things and when they came home they had flowers for me. Each of them gave me some flowers and told me something like, "Thank you for having a baby!" haha I wish I could remember what each of them said. It was very sweet! My mom said that when they got to Costco they told GG that they should get me flowers because I needed them because of all the hard work I did. Such sweet boys I have!! 

Love all 4 of my boys!!

Well hello there!!😍

Yummy breakfast curtosy of my mom! haha She made me some eggs and then warmed up some cinnamon bread she bought at Costco. Delicious!! I had to wear my belly band to keep some ice on my back and support my back a little bit. The spot where I got my epidural was really hurting me. So I was really hoping that some ice would help a little bit!  

What a good big brother. All of the boys loved holding Kayden! It was cute seeing them with him. Sadly, I seem to forget to let them hold the babies all that much when I have them. I get so caught up in feeding them and snuggling with them that I forget a lot of times to let the other boys hold him. Thankfully GG was good at that and would let the kids hold him if I was sleeping. 

He looks so tiny in this picture with GG. 

Cute Tiny feet!!!

I just want to kiss that cute little face all the time!!!

The first pictures I could get of Kayden doing toot smiles! 

Emmett was so funny when holding Kayden. When Kayden would swing his arms around he would almost hit Emmett in the face and Emmett would start laughing so hard. It was cute!

He loves being a big brother!

What a sad little face...

I have such sweet boys!! They all love their little brother so much!! They are all very lucky to have such an amazing Dad too! 

Oddly enough it snowed after having Kayden. It normally doesn't snow that late in May. We were all very surprised that we got snow not only that but how much we got for being so late in May. 

May 20th Ethan had a kindness assembly that he was picked for. So my Mom and Brandon took Emmett to the school to go see Ethan get his kindness award in front of his classmates. We were so proud of him for getting selected for the kindness award for his class.

He was pretty proud of himself too!! Way to go Ethan!! 

GG does not like ferris wheels but she went on it with Wyatt anyways! So BRAVE!! :-) 

The boys love going on the ferris wheel at Scheels. 

It was so nice that Brandon and GG could take the boys out of the house on those snowy mornings. Gave me and Kayden some peace and quiet to nap and eat. Plus it gave the boys something fun to do. 

It amazes me how much babies change in such a short amount of time. It also amazes me how it feels like he has always been a part of our family!! 

Silly Emmett!! 

Then Papa arrived!! He was able to hold his Grandson. So sweet and so tiny! 

I truly love cuddling with Kayden laying on my chest!! It is the best thing about new babies. He LOVED laying on my chest and sleeping too. Which I was totally fine with. My mom would try to get him to sleep and he would fuss so she would give him back and I would put him on my chest and he would fall asleep. I can't say that I didn't like it, because, I LOVED IT!!! :-) 

My favorite position of any day all day! 

While my parents were here my Grandma's health was taking a turn for the worse. My mom was not sure how much longer she was going to be around and since we live only about 7 hours from where she was my mom decided that it would be a good idea to go see her before she graduated from this world. So they left for just the weekend. While they were gone Brandon worked on his putting green downstairs and the boys enjoyed sitting on the couch watching TV and hanging out with their Dad while I took care of Kayden and continued to recover. 

Ethan and Wyatt looked like this for quite a while. TV zombies! haha 

Emmett had fun wearing these noise canceling ear muffs while helping out Dad in the basement. 

 Oh my goodness!!! LOOK at that CUTE face!!! Ahh I just want to love up on that little face!! 

You can tell how little he was with how big that binkie looks on his little face. haha 

I believe my parents left on Friday and came back later Sunday evening. After they got back my Dad was able to hang with Kayden a little more and so did my mom. We then watched some more movies and enjoyed just being together. 

I also had to take Kayden in to get his second newborn screen heel prick done. So I did that one morning after the kids were in school. 

I think Emmett liked the one on one time with his baby brother. 

Brandon's office sent us this fruit arrangement. It was delicious!! They are so nice! 

Pictures from Wyatt's last day of Kindergarten. 

He is getting so big! 

He was so excited to be getting done with Kindergarten and the fact that he was going to be a first grader. What is also funny is that he wanted first grade to start and was bummed that summer was 3 months long. haha Silly kiddo! 

Then it was time for Wyatt's kindergarten celebration! 

Like I said earlier, I stayed home with Kayden and watched it on the Bethke website. Papa, GG, Emmett and Brandon all got to go to his graduation. 

Wyatt had a part to say in it and he was so excited about it. 

Mrs. Gephart his kindergarten teacher! Goodbye kindergarden.. Hello First Grade!!

While my mom was here she tried to get newborn pictures of little man. The problem was he just wouldn't sleep deep enough during the day. He seemed to only sleep really good when he was on me. Other than that he just didn't sleep deep enough to have really cute pictures taken of him. Sad day!! Oh well, it is what it is and we at least have a few pictures of him that my mom took.

Here are some pictures my Mom was able to get! So precious!!

 He is seriously just too cute!!! We can't get enough of him!!

Look at those tiny feet!

Just love when he holds onto our fingers with his tiny hand!!

These boys are going to be best friends!! 

Making goo with GG! haha 

Papa helping Emmett feel better after he got hurt. 

Ethan's last day of 3rd grade was the day after Wyatt's last day of school. So he is now a 4th grader!! How did that happen??

Goodbye 3rd grade! Hello 4th!! 

While Ethan was at his last day of school for the year Papa and GG went for a bike ride with Emmett and Wyatt. 

Papa is so lucky to get to wear Wyatt's hat! haha 

Such a sweet face!!! And look at that dark hair!! I love!! 

Pool time at the Harmony Pool!! 

Papa getting some cuddles in while I got the tin foil dinners ready. 

We told the boys we would roast hot dogs and marshmallows one day. So we did! It was so hot outside when we did the fire that it was not enjoyable, other than the fact that the boys got to roast hot dogs and marshmallows. Other than that they didn't want to sit close to the fire because it was too hot outside. 

It was still fun though and they enjoyed playing outside afterwards. 

Shopping with GG is always fun. haha 

Be still my heart!!! Look at that face!!!! 😍😍😍

Then our pool opened up and the boys were able to go have fun there as well. 

Setting the bird trap. 

The waiting begins...

and still waiting...

Obviously having fun waiting. haha 

and napping... 

oh... and waiting some more. haha 

Then.... 

BAM!!! 

He caught the bird!!! 

He was so excited!!!! That bird was trying so hard to get out. It was losing feathers. Then they released the bird. Pretty exciting though. 

After all that excitement they enjoyed just playing games outside. 

So much fun playing tennis and ring toss. 

I love when babies hold your finger. Look at how tiny his hand was...... oh so tiny! 

This little cutie also had his circumsicion while Papa and GG were here. I made sure Brandon came with me so that I didn't have to sit there and cry alone. I thought I would handle it better with this being my 4th boy. NOPE!! I was ok while he was in the back even though I could hear him crying. As soon as they brought him back and he was crying while I tried to nurse him I started to really feel sad for him. Then we had to change his diaper because he had peed and pooped and it was on his fresh wound. So he was super upset. Then as we pulled the diaper off and I saw that it was all bloody I lost it and cried. I then cried like the rest of the day anytime he cried I felt so bad for him. So I just snuggled up on him the rest of the day and made Brandon change his diapers that whole weekend so I didn't have to look at it until it was looking better. Thankfully it looked much better by Monday when Brandon went back to work. I was such a mess though and I was very glad when he was all healed up. 

My Mom also took some family pictures for us before leaving.

Then it was time for Papa and GG to leave!! We were all sad to see them go but glad to know that we would see them in 2 months when we went to the reunion in California! We were so grateful for all of their help while they were here and the fun they were able to have with our boys!! Always a good time with them here.