2023 began on a Sunday this year. So we started the new year off going to church at 10:30 (super nice). Kayden also moved on up to primary. It is so crazy that he is already a sunbeam. He was not too fond of the idea. He had a really rough time. I think one of the problems was they didn't have the kids join in primary at all while they were in nursery. So it was super foreign to them. Kayden was not having it.
Don't let that smile deceive you. He was crying on my leg 2 seconds later. I finally escaped and thankfully my mom is in Primary. So she tried to get him to stay with her. She told me that he did not want to go in to his class at all. She tried a couple of times. So he just hung out with Gigi for a little while instead. I was teaching that Sunday so I couldn't help. She even brought him in to my class. He was not wanting anything to do with primary. All of a sudden I heard his little voice and my Mom showed up with Kayden saying that he was not having it. So he hung with me and Brandon in my class the rest of church. It is a hard transition. Especially when he LOVED his nursery leaders so much.
Later that day while we were chatting with the Murri's on chat Kayden decided he was going to cook while I was trying to get dinner ready.
Ya that is sugar all over the table. I had my hands full and couldn't stop him and Brandon was chatting at the computer. So I just had to let it happen. He sure enjoyed it though.
I do not enjoy the cold weather. I enjoy snow for Christmas. Then I am over it and ready for spring and summer. The kids however, love to play in the snow. Kayden sat outside building things with some snow for quite a while. It was too cold for my liking to join him. So I stayed in the comfort of our home and watched him. haha
We then took the kids ice skating that Monday. Brandon had that Monday off so we were able to have some fun with the kiddos before he started work again. The usual ice rinks that we go to were all closed. So we had to go to EPIC. It was SUPER busy! Seemed that everyone was going ice skating on their day off. In fact we almost were not able to get skates for Brandon and I. It was busy but the kids enjoyed it.
It took a little bit to find one of these to let Kayden enjoy it too. Then he would just drag his feet the whole time. So Kayden's arms would get tired and Brandon would kick his feet. haha So they didn't last super long.
Afterwards, we grabbed the kids gift cards they got in their stockings and grabbed dinner before heading to Papa and Gigi's for some hot tub soaking and some time hanging out before calling it a night.
Started eating a bunch of boring salads. Couldn't add my praline pecans because of sugar and diary in it. So I made salads with a bunch of spinach, chicken, avocado, salsa and some hot sauce. Cafe Rio's salsa really saved me with these salads.
They are good helpers. Wyatt did not want to help. I kept telling him that he needed to help to get cookies. He usually enjoys helping shovel the driveway. Not this time for some reason. So he was not able to get as many cookies as his brothers did.
I love this picture!
So cute with Kayden looking up at the tree in the darkness.
Tuesday morning life kind of changed for me.
I had my follow up appointment with Balanced Well Being (Functional Medicine). I had done a ton of tests to see what is going on with me and why I keep hurting. I was nervous that there would be nothing wrong and also nervous that there would be everything wrong. haha I really did not want to change up my diet. I didn't feel like I was eating terribly to begin with. However, the appointment was a shock to my system. I found out that I had overgrowth of yeast in my gut. I also had a ton of food sensitivities. Which pointed towards me having a leaky gut. I was also Vitamin B6 deficient. So I was told to go gluten/egg free for 2-3 months. Dairy free for 3-4 weeks and to try and limit any of the other sensitivities to 2 maybe 3 times a week. As well as cutting out my soda for 3-4 weeks and really cutting back on sugar. It was a lot to digest. In fact I kept it together while I was in the office but as soon as I left I couldn't be strong anymore. I started crying! It was a lot of change that needed to happen and food is a lot of life. Food is life. So to change my diet that drastically was a major shock. No dairy meant no protein drinks. NO PROTEIN DRINKS!!! I came to realize that I have had a protein drink almost every morning for the past 12 years! That is a long time to all of a sudden not be able to have that for breakfast or be able to eat eggs instead. So I was stressed! It was hard to not be emotional about it. I had no idea what I was going to eat or make for dinners for that matter. It felt like I was going to starve!
After my appointment I headed out to grab some salsa from Cafe Rio. I was trying to pull myself together before I went in. I didn't want to be crying while I ordered my salsa. As I waited in line there was a homeless man who came in and tried to order some tortilla soup. He ended up being just short on money. I had the thought at that moment to just jump over and pay for it. I resisted the thought and just kept standing in line. I ended up ordering my salsa and went to leave. As I stepped out of the restaurant the homeless man was sitting on the bench. He said, "Hey miss, could you help me get some tortilla soup?" I hesitated for a second and then said ya sure. I had missed the first thought to help out and figured I probably should help out this time. So he followed me in and ordered his soup. As we were standing in line he asked how my day was going. I couldn't say it was terrible. I was talking to a man who didn't even have a place to call home. So I told him it was going ok. He then said that he was woken up by the cops that morning. He then told me that he had been clean of Meth for 3 days now. I told him that was great and to keep up the good work. I said well hopefully this is a good year. He said, "It will be!" He asked my name and told me people called him Nugget. Then he finished ordering. I got him a drink with his soup and he told me to have a good day. As I was walking towards the door I had the thought, "Everything happens for a reason"
Me being there at that time when he was blessed me. It was a blessing to me because I realized yes this was going to be hard but I can eat food, I have money to buy food, I have a warm house I can sleep in and be in when its so cold. Sure it was not going to be easy. But I am so blessed to have what I have. I knew my Heavenly Father was trying to help me see that it was going to be ok. That if this man who had a much rougher life than me could think that this year was going to be a good year. Then how could I think any differently when I have been so blessed. I can see life as a blessing and not just terrible because of some changes I have to make for a little bit of time. If I had turned him away and decided that I was too uncomfortable to help that poor man out, I would not have had that experience and the feeling of how blessed I am and that life was going to be ok.
Did that experience make this any easier?? No! But it helped me feel that Heavenly Father was aware of my struggle. I still cried a lot that day as I dealt with the stress of not knowing what I was going to eat or how I was going to feed my family and myself with this crazy change in diet. So it was still hard. It was just an experience I would not have gotten if I had turned him away.
Anyways, after getting home I told my Mom all about it. Cried to her about it and my sweet boys gave me hugs and asked if I was ok. They have seen me cry a lot the last year and a half. After I had gotten a hold of myself I went upstairs and found this note on my bed!
This note said,
Dear Mom, I want to help you in any way that I can but, I don't know how to help you. When you are sad and hurting I don't celebrate too and I can't help but cry in bed and say a prayer for you. So if you need help ask me and I will do my best to help. You got this, don't give up, and you can do Hard things!
Mom: never gives up and is strong, always helping me, the kindest person in the world, always happy, loves her family.
I wrote this letter because I love you.
I read this letter and started bursting out in tears again. My boys are so tender hearted. I can't help but think that because they have had to see me go through this last year and a half of really hard things that they will be better off for it. It has not been fun and I have not been perfect in keeping my attitude of gratitude or happiness up. I have tried and they have been so amazing. I just hope that when I make it out of all this I will be a better person and they will too.
Anyways, after the shock of everything and controlling my emotions I was then on the hunt to figure out what I could eat. The boys came with me to Costco and king soopers to help me look up stuff that I could eat. I then began the journey.
I bought a Orgain vanilla protein powder (Pea Protein kind of thing) and some oatmilk. I made a hulk protein drink with it. It turned out ok. It was a little too chalky and after a few sips a little too sweet tasting. Like weird sweet. So I took that powder back.
Was put on Nystatin 3 times a day for 4 weeks. So I started that!
Was torchured watching and smelling Costco pizza while I ate a lettuce wrapped hot dog! haha
The boys had fun copying Gigi by filling water balloons with water and putting it outside to freeze.
Ethan added flavoring to his water and enjoyed his popsicle ball. haha
Emmett loved his ice bowl. Brandon told him to put cereal in it. haha Ya, he didn't do it. He just sucked on it and licked it. haha
Wyatt put bandaids all over his fingers to help his hands not hurt while he played with his yo-yo. haha Crazy boys.
Kayden tried out his scooter and did pretty good on it for his first time in a while of riding any scooter. Plus he would rather ride the wiggle car. So he does not get much practice on his bike or scooters. So hopefully he will enjoy this new one more and ride it more often.
Then Kayden was back to playing in the snow on the table outside. Trying to make car garages or castles.
I tried a gluten free pasta. Ya... it was no good. I ended up just eating the RAO's sauce with some taco meat in a bowl instead of eating the noodles. So pasta is out until I can have gluten again.
Once the boys were back to school I tried to figure out something that I could do with Kayden to get out of the house for a little bit and stop thinking about what I can't eat. haha So we went to the gym and then decided to sit in the hot tub after.
Kayden didn't last long at all. He kept saying he wanted to leave and that it was not fun. I was sure enjoying it. So we lasted about 15 minutes and then left.
Emmett got to bring home his class pet. So we took pictures of him doing things with Luna and he got to write about what he did over the weekend. He was so happy to bring home the class pet.
January 16 the kids were off from school. So I thought it would be fun to go to the Windsor Rec center. The older boys had fun for a little while but then wanted to leave. Kayden was loving it. He did not want to sit in the hot tub. So anytime we all went in the hot tub he would sit right outside of it and either put his feet in or just sit there and tell us he wanted to go back in the other pool.
Emmett would then go play with Kayden in the little kiddie slide area and Kayden just loved it. Emmett and Kayden could have played another hour but Wyatt and Ethan were out and sitting playing on Gigi's phone. So I figured it was time to leave.
After 2 weeks of Nystatin it was time to start taking my other supplements. This was just for breakfast. I also had to take a vitamin B pump and a powder drink in the morning and at night. So this was my breakfast and then I had to take like 6 pills at night along with the Vitamin B. It has been a lot of supplements. I am fine with taking all the pills. Its the diet that is hard. haha
We also got a good amount of snow one day and the boys were super excited to shovel our driveway. Then we head our way to papa and Gigi's house to shovel their driveway.
Kayden was using this teeny tiny shovel. It was so funny!
Brandon also got tickets to a Nuggets game for him and Wyatt. Since Wyatt missed the game at Christmas Brandon thought it would be a good idea to take him to a game for a one on one. So he and Wyatt left and me and the boys hung out at the house.
The boys played with yo yo's for a while. Ethan had just gotten a new one and was super excited to play with it. These kids are so obsessed with yo-yo's right now. haha
Nothing better than a horse ride from Dad.
I am not sure if I mentioned this before but if Kayden has an eyelash in his eye he says he has, "an eye flash" SO CUTE!!
Also, he had a cold and he came in my room in the morning and said, Mom my hamburgers are plugging my nose." haha
January seemed to be so slow and yet a blur because I was so consumed with what I could and couldn't eat. I tried to enjoy my family but food is all consuming. I feel like I am hungry and don't know what to eat. So I just stare at the pantry trying to figure out something to eat. I eat a lot of fruit/veggies, some meat and nuts like cashews. It is really tiresome. I had the same salad basically every day. I got so tired of it. I have learned that avocado oil is actually really good. Cooks pretty well with most things. I have also learned a couple of new ways I like cooking veggies. So hopefully we will add more veggies into our diet in general.
